So I have put two claims so called and baseless first we start by how these relationships start and then we will talk about the claims. So you feel affection towards someone, chances are he or she may or may not feel the same about you. But you make a move they give approval now it can be verbal or something they do which implies that the land has been bought and the time is to build a house. The house is built slowly and gradually and both of you know and your close friends know what is going on.
The problem with these relationships
The reason moving through a break up is so hard is due to the reason that it was someone who cared about you and gave you an amazing time or at least you think that’s what happened but in reality most break ups are because one partner finds someone else interesting, more charismatic,smart,good looking. And literally what’s stopping him or her from getting someone better because it was a relationship made out of thin air. No there was love you might say and yeah there might be love but for your partner you maybe a sample and now he or she is looking for someone who doesn’t have weaknesses like you had. And from one perspective this is a really good idea and strategy but for them not for you who loved them with your full heart. No one male or female loves someone fully in an relationship because the experienced ones know that this whole thing is like a hut that you live in enjoy its beauty but there’s always this caution that it will be destroyed as a storm passes by. Some people only enter these relationships just to have some temporary fun or a way to numb their own pain without caring about your feelings and the fun part is you don’t know that. Most people who have been in a relationship for years have a hard time proposing their partner for a marriage because they know that it very well may be a no. These people also don’t have kids because if there is a break up then those kids will suffer their whole life they will lack love and care from either their mother or father and these kids have shown to have hatred towards their parents and suffer from mental illnesses. The long term drawback of these relationships is that such a long time will pass and you will grow older and you will have no one to call your own and will spend your last years alone wishing you had married and committed to someone. There are also self respect issues for example one day your girlfriend is happy with you and you both make lasagna and its freaking delicious you two have a great time but the other day you are standing on her door step with you luggage begging to keep that relationship. These relationships also are very bad for a countries economy. It leads to increased economic instability and poverty which was proven in the Lupton and Smith research. It also creates higher rates of welfare dependency which was also proven in the Murray 2012 research.
Marriage the ultimate solution
A research was conducted on the arranged marriages in India and the US. It is known as the Uptal Dholakia. It suggested that married couples who initially did not love each other developed stronger love after the marriage which was stronger then that of these so called relationships. And research also suggested that married couples had a stronger bond forgave each others mistakes more often then people in relationships. Now she is not only your beloved wife but also the mother of your children your mother and fathers daughter in law and has a connection to your entire family. Research also suggests married couples need no to very less couples counselling as compared to the couples in a mind made relationship.
Final conclusion
See if your partner is willing to get married to you if they have a genuine reason to tell you to wait for a little while so be cooperative and patient if they are shocked by what you have asked and seem to be uneasy then try to figure out why they are with you what’s their motive. Or is there a reason, again it can be anything. I don’t want to ruin your relationship I just want to make it a more secure one that you can drop on with your eyes closed and know you’re going to be okay when you fall in life, saving you from a painful heart break.
Tayyab Khan
